Why I Don’t Feel Guilty For Making My Parents Empty Nesters
Dev and I have officially moved into our home and for the first time in 27 years my parents are empty nesters. Now, being an only child, I always thought I would feel extremely guilty or sad when moving day came around. But for some reason the whole experience felt quite natural!
Before anyone jumps to conclusion or calls this post ruthless (like Dev did when I mentioned the idea to him) I wanted to share a quote my Mom posted to Facebook shortly after we moved:
“To raise a child, who is confident enough to leave you, means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their own.” – Author Unknown.
I love my parents! They’ve raised me to become the person I am today. Someone who is responsible and privileged to purchase a home where I can live independently and begin making new memories. For this I am truly grateful.
I’m choosing to spread my wings and be the best Birdy I can be! Although I assure you, my parents will always have a job to do. I will continue to call them for advice or suggestions when things seem to fall apart (literally and figuratively) and they will forever be my Mom and Dad – my biggest supporters, motivators, family members and friends.
Luckily I have only moved 20 minutes away. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if I had moved across the country, but I’m positive it would not have been as easy.
I actually think this experience will be good for my relationship with my parents. In fact, I’ve talked to my mom on the phone every day since we’ve moved out. Whereas before, it was not uncommon to sit in the living room (silent) while watching TV or scrolling on our phones. Even worse, there were times when we would hibernate in separate rooms because of a difference in TV show interests. It may sound crazy, but I imagine I will talk and see my parents more now that I’m not living with them, and I look forward to doing so!
Gone are the days of feeling like we’re living on top of each other. And gone are the days of being told what to do. OK, this might be a bit harsh, but it’s true – especially for only children, no matter what age.
Of course, I must take a bit of onus…gone are the days of doing laundry during the day because I didn’t pay the hydro bill. And I’m sure my parents are looking forward to this one…gone are the days of strolling in late at night, drunk and loud, therefore waking them from their slumber.
I hope it will be good for their relationship with one another as well, for they will no longer need to worry or argue about me. Instead they can focus on themselves and do the things that make them happy – whether that be together or individually.
It’s a time of change for everyone, but change is good!